Former English captain Lewis Moody has revealed he has been found to have motor neurone disease and stated he cannot yet deal with the full consequences of the muscle-deteriorating condition that claimed the lives of other rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old athlete, who was part of the 2003 championship side and lifted numerous English and European titles with Leicester, appeared on BBC Breakfast 14 days after discovering he has the illness.
"There's an element of facing the future and being reluctant to really process that at the moment," he stated.
"This doesn't mean I fail to comprehend where it's progressing. We understand that. But there is certainly a reluctance to look the future in the face for now."
Moody, talking with his wife Annie, states conversely he feels "peaceful" as he directs his attention to his present wellbeing, his family and making preparations for when the disease progresses.
"Perhaps that's shock or possibly I deal with matters differently, and after I have the facts, it's simpler," he continued.
Early Indications
Moody discovered he had MND after detecting some lack of strength in his shoulder while training in the gym.
After rehabilitation was ineffective for the problem, a series of scans showed nerve cells in his neurological system had been compromised by MND.
"You receive this condition identification of MND and we're appropriately very moved about it, but it's quite odd because I feel like I'm perfectly healthy," he remarked.
"I don't sense sick. I don't experience unwell
"My symptoms are rather minimal. I have a small amount of muscle deterioration in the fingers and the shoulder.
"I remain capable of doing anything and everything. And with luck that will persist for as long as is possible."
Condition Progression
MND can advance swiftly.
According to the charity MND Association, the disease claims a 33% of people within a year and over half within 24 months of diagnosis, as ingestion and inhalation become harder.
Therapy can only retard decline.
"It isn't ever me that I experience sorrow for," commented an moved Moody.
"It's about the sadness around having to inform my mum - as an single child - and the consequences that has for her."
Household Consequences
Conversing from the family home with his wife and their family dog by his side, Moody was overcome with emotion when he spoke about breaking the news to his sons - teenage Dylan and adolescent Ethan - the traumatic news, saying: "That represented the hardest thing I've ever had to do."
"They are two wonderful boys and that was rather upsetting," Moody stated.
"We sat on the sofa in crying, Ethan and Dylan both embraced in each other, then the dog bounded over and started cleaning the moisture off our faces, which was quite silly."
Moody explained the focus was being in the present.
"We have no solution and that is why you have to be very militantly concentrated on just welcoming and savoring all aspects now," he said.
"According to Annie, we've been very blessed that the primary decision I made when I left playing was to allocate as much time with the kids as attainable. We can't reclaim those periods back."
Player Association
Elite sportspeople are disproportionately impacted by MND, with studies suggesting the incidence of the condition is up to 600% greater than in the broader public.
It is thought that by limiting the air available and causing harm to neural pathways, regular, strenuous exercise can activate the condition in those previously vulnerable.
Athletic Professional Life
Moody, who earned 71 England selections and toured with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was nicknamed 'Mad Dog' during his sports career, in recognition of his fearless, persistent approach to the game.
He participated through a fracture of his leg for a duration with Leicester and once initiated a training-ground confrontation with fellow player and friend Martin Johnson when, annoyed, he abandoned a training equipment and started participating in collisions.
After appearing as a substitute in the Rugby World Cup decisive match win over Australia in 2003, he claimed a ball at the end of the set piece in the crucial phase of play, creating a base for half-back Matt Dawson to advance and Jonny Wilkinson to kick the victory-securing drop-goal.
Assistance System
Moody has already notified Johnson, who captained England to that championship, and a handful of other ex- team-mates about his diagnosis, but the others will be finding out his news with the rest of public.
"We'll have a moment when we'll need to lean on their backing but, at the moment, just having that type of care and recognition that people are there is all that matters," he said.
"The sport is such a great community.
"I said to the kids the other day, I've had an amazing life.
"Even if it ended now, I've valued all of it and embraced all of it and got to do it with exceptional people.
"Being able to consider your passion your vocation, it's one of the most important honors.
"Having accomplished it for so extended a period with the groups that I did it with was a pleasure. And I understand they will want to assist in whatever way they can and I anticipate having those conversations."
